Don't fall in love. Rise in love.

I’ve heard my dad stating this quote quite a few times now.

To be honest, I didn’t fully understand this quote until, of course, I personally experienced what rising in love truly means.

Movies and fairy tales have made falling in love sound fancy. It has aided us in creating a fantasy of what romantic love should look like or how it should be, thus, further creating unreal expectations of perfection that eventually would lead to disappointments and heartbreaks.

As Osho writes – “Anybody who rises in love never falls from it, because rising is your effort, and the love that is grown through your effort is within your hands. But falling in love is not your effort.”

You can fall in love easily. You can fall out of love just as easily, undoubtedly.

But when you rise in love, you recognize that feelings vary, which doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed or you’re out of love. It means that this love needs to be nurtured and built upon. It is not always smooth-sailing. It’s recognizing that relationships will always need constant work of communication, comprehension, honesty, kindness, respect, and boundaries. It’s mostly about giving without the expectation of receiving...giving not just gifts but freedom too. It is unconditional and forgiving. It’s a conscious decision to love that person, and embrace the flaws allowing each other space to grow, mature and learn. You don’t know if you truly love a person until you have the option not to.  

Sometimes rising even means being out of your comfort zone. It is unassuming and more about knowing that you are still learning and understanding your person. It is also about realizing that you have your own identity and so does the other and that no one is perfect.

Expectations constrict you from freely loving someone regardless of anything. Let go of those expectations as there is no ‘perfect one’ or ‘the One’, so don’t let that fear stop you from choosing to love your person. It is all about choice. To choose to love is to be like God. We gave God every reason to reject us. He didn’t have to choose us or love us, but He did anyway. Because GOD is LOVE. I know that that’s how God wants us to love our person – with the same constant selflessness with which He loves us, even when everything is falling apart. He invites us to take love’s adventure in committing to love someone for a lifetime, the way He has for us. There is no fear in this. Rising in love is spiritual and enduring.

Think about this as growing in love instead of falling in love. To me that sounds like you are becoming better, wiser and happier than before.

So my dear Readers, I hope you rather rise in love than fall in love. Trust me, it’s totally worth it.